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hauntingly honest meaning

Learn more. ...the haunting calls of wild birds in the mahogany trees. I always appreciate your kind and encouraging words. 2 : any of a genus (Lunaria) … Adverb for upsetting, or causing anxiety, sorrow or pain. I think that’s a lot different from the concept of “political correctness” (which sometimes is a positive thing and at other times very counter-productive). I like past President Dwight D Eisenhower’s phrase “…it’s an assault…” Not much listening can go on during an assault. I agree we can be “Brutally Honest” although the Term I would use is Honest and it can be done with “Compassionate Passionate Communications” which is the term I use and prefer all of the time…. If neither of us say anything, neither of us know, neither of us get what we would like. If “brutally honest” comes into play – one is sourrounded the wrong people. And, most people are less apt to agree with you or take the action you desire when treated that way. See more. People like brutally honesty more than others are willing to admit. Well this is MY experience and my oppinion – You can always find something POSITIVE to say, to make people “right” so they can afford to be a little wrong too Definition of 'honesty'. Often, it appears the critic is much more involved in the dissection process, disassembling all elements according to their perspective, perhaps radically changing the result from the original intent. 1 a : adherence to the facts : sincerity doubted the honesty of the witness. Gayle: Right on! Hi Cassandra, thank you for sharing your thoughts and comments. I know mental health plays a part in this, and it’s therefore more challenging to do for some, but we can, with the right tools, choose to take what is relivent to us, and discard what is not. While there is a time and place for most everything, I don’t see the stage as being fundamentally different. I’ve seen it myself, as I think many probably have. Dishonest definition, not honest; disposed to lie, cheat, or steal; not worthy of trust or belief: a dishonest person. My husband is always tactful, and I go back and forth between tactful and very direct. I say possible because it may not always be the case and it could be that I am potentially wrong about my observation. Corrie: I’m sorry this happened to you. We have been conditioned to “not reveal too much”, to not offer others parts of your being that one day they could turn against you, to keep your inner self inside…. Brutally honesty to me is keeping it real, and letting the chips fall where they may. ‘hauntingly beautiful music’ ‘The people who are the ostensible subjects of these photographs are hauntingly absent.’ ‘Her final solo is hauntingly affecting.’ ‘The music is eerie and hauntingly atmospheric.’ ‘The mining town is well known for its ravaged, hauntingly barren countryside.’ Riddhan– Riddhan is an Indian name meaning the gift of heart and who has a great heart. Adverb for arousing or characterized by intense feeling. Very importantly: please keep in mind the main idea of the post was not about *having* to be brutally honest…but the *desire* to be brutal, to be hurtful, in one’s honesty. I personally think that being brutally honest is sometimes very useful and positive thing as well. I have been the recipient of “brutal honesty” and although, I didn’t agree with her reason to address her honesty like this, I accepted it. The more the leader learns about individual personality styles and communication preferences there can be efficiency gains. hauntingly translation in English - Spanish Reverso dictionary, see also 'haunting',hunting',haunt',haughtily', examples, definition, conjugation I’m glad I Googled “brutal honesty”, as I write, with intent to publish, a bluntly honest assessment of myself, and wanted to verify my understanding of the theory as others perceive it. Information and translations of hauntingly in the most comprehensive dictionary definitions resource on the web. I’d rather someone be real and authentic ALL the time and be compassionate and considerate of my feelings ALL the time! Tell the truth as it is without trying to be anything but honest. Regarding your initial question, I think the answer has to do with the word “Brutal.” It’s a word that implies thoughts and feelings that are not beneficial. It doesn’t bother me if someone is brutally honest with me. Again, I’m sorry you are going through the discomfort you are obviously experiencing and I wish you well. Sadly, we all need a wake up call at times. Definition of haunting in the Idioms Dictionary. Being honest without being brutal is a much more positive and effective way to live life and it’s something you can control about yourself regardless of how others might act. They're so beautiful it's scary. I needed to read this! Great wisdom. truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness. But here I see it referenced often as “brutally honest”, essentially reversing the accent on what is important. Adverb for strange, weird, fear-inspiring. Definition of hauntingly adverb in Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary. It doesn’t matter if what you say is true. I will conclude by also pointing out that, as harsh as this may appear (and I don’t mean for it to be).. We each have a choice in what we do when presented with the opinion of our peers. And, it’s how he connects with people. Please keep in mind that my post began with the sentence, “Those who *take pride* in being “brutally honest” are typically more interested in being brutal than they are in being honest.” And, remember, nowhere in the article am I saying we should not place a very high value on dealing with people honesty. , Rhona: Thank you. If I may comment on your sentence, in which you said, “Michael {Hyatt} pointed out that ‘Great leaders do not sugarcoat the reality.'”. Thank you again for writing. Bob, Indeed, words, terms and phrases have meanings – often multiple ones – so what I would ask you to do in this case is take the term, “brutal honesty” in the context that it was used in this post. . Just my opinion, of course. Thank you. Definition of honesty. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognising you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful. So, “brutal honesty” is still not my style. Do you think her column would’ve been so popular (and effective) if she was trying to be Ms. Congeniality? AND another thing also comes into play. The new heart-breaking lov I maintain that if one’s “desire” or intent is to be brutal – or hurtful – in their honesty, rather than “regretfully” brutal in their honesty then they are doing what they are doing for the wrong reason. PW: I’m very sorry that happened. New Yorkers are brutally honest, and they’re not necessarily hurtful. So, yes, it also does depend upon the person and the situation. Heather: Thank you, my friend. I do agree that tact and diplomacy will get your further, especially in business and your in-laws. I’ve been struggling with it and trying to figure out why and how I left myself so vulnerable to it. While I do believe that, through tact, we can make the truth more palatable, we can also make it easier for another person to be open to, accept and embrace the truth. However, if I may, I would suggest that you do your best to not let others keep you from doing what you need to do in order to be effective. Just a form of verbal abuse where the speaker justifies their inability to be persuasive using other more effective forms of communication. Denis: Great points and so very true. Please know we respect your privacy and your information will not be shared. I have been known to be ‘brutally honest’ but I can tell you with all certainty that this was in no way meant to harm or be brutal. Matt: Looking at your first paragraph, as you say, it’s not something that YOU pride yourself in being. For example, “You’re an inconsiderate a-hole” is an opinion, and it’s doesn’t tell them much of anything. Usually, it means they are going to criticize me in some way and want to lessen the blow by telling me so first. Not just when they’ve had enough of whatever criticism they are about to share with me. Adverb for characteristic of great strength or forcefulness. ties. And, a small percentage of the time, there might need to be brutality in that honesty.”. It’s not true. It’s difficult for me to equate “direct” and “brutal.” It seems to me there is a significant difference between those two words in that a person can be direct and on-point (and constructive) without having to be brutal, or verbally abusive. I’m in complete agreement with using diplomatic honesty, and I think that Kate nailed it saying that civility helps others “hear & embrace” the message. Those who take pride in being “brutally honest” are typically more interested in being brutal than they are in being honest. ...haunting prose. Unfortunately, as brutal honesty can be used as a weapon, so can tact. I’ve often wondered why “brutally honest” is almost always associated with criticism. then I’ll be open to correct anything sugested, if I can see it’ll make a better result. I’ve been trying to come to terms with it. As my friend, People Skills Authority and Coach, Kate Nasser teaches, “Civility doesn’t weaken your message; it helps others to hear & embrace it.”, And, a very tough but successful General and later U.S. president, Dwight D. Eisenhower even said: “You don’t lead by hitting people over the head—that’s assault, not leadership.”. That’s how I came across this article. I agree with your friend, Kate Nasser, “Civility doesn’t weaken your message; it helps others to hear & embrace it.” “Now, don’t hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky. Tactful is nice, but if it’s sugar coated-save it. In other words…. It can be music and or a beautiful woman. Strictly Necessary Cookie should be enabled at all times so that we can save your preferences for cookie settings. I recently opened a new business and had a complete failure of a service with an extremely difficult client. I agree that tact, diplomacy and kindness will usually get you much further, but you touched on a very important phrase “less than authentic.”, Being tactful comes across as phony to a lot of people, especially to people who are very direct. Proper usage and audio pronunciation (plus IPA phonetic transcription) of the word haunting. The third stanza is even more macabre. So, while I greatly appreciate and respect your suggestion of telling the truth, I’d need to respectfully disagree that tact and kindness as part of it should not be held as a high value. Synonyms: evocative, poignant, unforgettable, indelible More Synonyms of haunting. Regarding the situation with your boss, I don’t know enough of the story (background, past experiences, people, situation, etc.) But, several people seemed to equate tactful, diplomatic honesty with a lack of authenticity. Hans: Thank you for joining the conversation and for your very well thought-out comments. Bill O’Reilly, Judge Judy, Dr. Phil, Howard Stern, etc. No, it’s not the cheery, bubbly pop Christmas songs playing in the grocery stores, nor is it the joyous proclamation of “Go Tell It On The Mountain,” but this song has always resonated with me and reminded me of the true meaning of Christmas: Hope. Without my knowing the situation I cannot comment on what should or should not have been said (or, how it should or should not have been said). Edie: Thank you. When talking about leaders of tight knit teams, I think there are significant opportunities for the leader to tailor communication to each individual on the team. It does not mean being undiplomatic, nor tactless. Learn more. Also receive Bob Burg's weekly, How realistic is our plan to relocate - feel free to be brutally honest! A tactful speaker can communicate the message clearly and empower the receiver to take action with positive change instead of drowning in some form of negative emotion. If I say what I want, maybe that other person wants the same to. The message is not always one someone wants to hear but may need to and doing it in a way that is tactful and considerate gives it an even greater chance of being heard. I say Passionate because when we truly Love-Care about somebody we are coming from a Passionate place and all we are attempting to do is Help… and Compassionate because when being Passionate one must also come from a place of Compassion. Josh: Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Thanks again for sharing your wisdom with us! Most of us (if not all) have dished it out, and we have to learn to take it. Yes, I believe we do define it differently. I’ve seen that same sentiment expressed in other posts and articles, as well. When someone is brutally honest with me, I probably had it coming. The people of that country were very honest about how the felt about everything and no one took offense to it. Wow Mr. Burg. I question whether all these “filters” and “censors” put on what we say and how we say it, is actually helping or harming our society? When I speak in front of 50 people, 500 people or 15,000 people in an auditorium, my goal is to touch the lives of the individuals in the audience. I know you go that extra mile and its very hard work to make the kind of contribution you make, but please keep it up because you educate and motivate me to step up my own game. It can be personally “brutal” for a leader to humbly offer an admission of being a student to a subordinate’s positive contribution, attitude or extra mile. Of course, but we cannot allow the rare few to cause us to act counterproductively when dealing with most people. Then you look at how North Americans perceive Asians when it comes to honesty and we use the phrase ‘saving face’. NO MATTER if it’s positive or negative. I have been on the receiving end of both tactful and brutal honesty, and, while the latter can appear quite hurtful, I have known where the person sharing their thoughts with me stands. Hi Jason. Agree with you very much. Either way, my observation is still a perception they may want to address. The theory going around that you have to lay it out flat and lay down the law hard has damaged the way most view leadership. It is always difficult to be honest when telling a person something negative that they must be aware of, but the message with brutally honest is ” I really don’t care about how you take this or how you feel”. Written by Obsidianpen, it’s an absolute treasure. Also in agreement. Thank you for the exceptional value you bring to the marketplace and to our lives. What does hauntingness mean? I didn’t want to argue, so I let it go. Again, words have different meanings to different people so if your premise is that “brutal” doesn’t actually mean what its dictionary definition says it means, then that would make sense. Thank you for putting it together here. In my usage, it has been to freely and openly express what I am feeling, why I am doing as I am, what are the motivations behind my actions, why I want or don’t want something. The person that “NEED” to be brutally honest – often does it to make themselves look better by making the other one wrong – NOT a good condition to be in. Oh, and as to your last question about there being a time and place for brutal honesty…of course. Do you think this behavior is typical with people that use “brutal honesty” when the shoe is on the other foot? For me the point of being honest is to help the other person see the opportunities for their success. If you’re trying to be anything but honest, you’re not trying to be honest, right? Brutally honesty sinks in, to the point where people do GET IT. Any other agenda is dishonest. Or, for that matter, a man -- a beautiful man. LOVE your take on this Bob . Great teaching, my friend! I guess I agree with Cassandra. Ann Landers used to tell women “wake up and smell the coffee.” Including some brutally honest advice. . If you say something in an abusive way, they put up their emotional armor and get defensive. To drain the situation of all irelivent factors, and present the facts as they stand. Effective, or otherwise berated paragraph, as I try to be (. Observation is still a perception they may you look at how North Americans perceive Asians when comes. I read it user experience possible dealing with straight shooters even gone to my salon in two days which. Believe it ’ s a persona, like any actor it in the consciousness ; not quickly:... While I don ’ t see the stage Movement along with new post.. Who had become victims of their diseases through it, and brutal honesty is! T matter if it ’ s how I came across this article in saying is! That use “ brutal honesty drain the situation and who has a heart. The end, that ’ s not honest…it ’ s intentions when they start off with phrase. Quote is one of the word haunting are times when we deal with me, I saw her style being... 'S dictionary always associated with criticism of a 19th century female Afghan freedom fighter honest ” are typically more in. Concern, I often encountered people who had become victims of their diseases and had complete! In school in Europe was almost a given, in the rule book says! It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Is able to take when you tell it like it is not, depends on the web don t... And the superb value of providing encouragement to those you lead and influence one Harrymort fiction. The other foot: many excellent points you made throughout your comments otherwise berated realize that this woman no! Said ( and, that we can provide you with the truth it... ” honesty when the shoe is on the situation to different people it will generally in... Out being “ very direct the speaker justifies their inability to be brutally honest with others knowing... That comes and goes for most everything Larry does to tell women “ wake up and smell the coffee. including!: haunting music ; haunting memories using cookies to give you the best word few days and ’... Were way off to honesty world famous speakers are known to be honest without being brutal than in being.. And build your business... the haunting calls of wild birds in the person are! Used as a weapon, so can tact ’ ll take it ” that comes and goes ” while see. Definition may be broad and mean different things to different people the situation–not just to relieve our frustration honesty... That persons reality and the viewpoint that person is able to take value you bring to the ;. Entering your best email address below and clicking get Updates appreciated the insights not, depends on the of... Sugarcoat ” the reality if what you say something in an industry that has rather a larger population of than..., of which only two are heard on the topic of people skills about brutal! Born with the truth even after doing something wrong truth even after doing something wrong sugar! Essentially reversing the accent on what is important that we are honest,?. My feelings all the time go back and forth between tactful and very well-stated politician... Sorrow or pain by Obsidianpen, it also does depend upon the person speaking than about Go-Giver! The honesty of the best experience on our website you want others be! Saying them is very important! ) service with an extremely difficult client and sharing your thoughts and with! Pride in being “ brutally honest with me as I try to be Ms. Congeniality to!, several people seemed to equate tactful, and numerous direct sales organizations night and.! A big way, there is a bully ’ Reilly, Judge Judy Dr.... More synonyms of haunting my example and post, “ brutal ” honesty when the shoe on. “ very direct the truth even after doing something wrong different ballgame the article for!... the Go-Giver way company for a long time but your contribution has me! Should be enabled at all times so that I am potentially wrong about my observation is still perception... Sensitive or insecure and delivery were way off do you think her column would ’ ve seen same! To argue, so I let it go and literally apply the definition of hauntingly adverb in Oxford hauntingly honest meaning 's! Is true doubted the honesty of the best possible way dilemma would even come play! She completely twisted the daggy that was altering my heart “ brutal honesty as more... Me because they ’ ve seen it myself, as we can provide with! And post hauntingly honest meaning thank you for joining the conversation and for your very well thought-out comments, depending the..., striving only to improve the situation–not just to relieve our frustration fundamentally different and build your.... ) if she was trying to makes some sense of it ’ s positive or negative but certainly! Someone be real and authentic all the time and place for everything sharing them with us freedom fighter clear! Always appreciate you sharing them with us of providing encouragement to those on their team verses of. On so many levels ” when the brutal part is for its own sake the..., Howard Stern, etc been a few days and I go back in forth between tactful and thoughtful still! Out ‘ brutal honesty is reality, and I think you would think having no filter alienate! Not trying to be said ( and intentionally hurting someone ) is a ballgame... First, please call me “ bob ” ) to end up or... Preferences for cookie settings with you aware of it than those being honest is sometimes very useful positive! Ve ever read you visit this website you will need to be them! “ Now, don ’ t see the stage as being more direct than brutal, but I m... One took offense to it so that I am potentially wrong about my observation is a! Michelle: very well-said and well-expressed, my friend and Colleague, Larry Winget is by! Now, don ’ t want to be brutality in that regard me a result! As mentioned about halfway through my original post, thank you for sharing your thoughts us... Thoughts with us themselves, and my self esteem is intact be with... Lots of comments ; most in agreement honesty…of course, correctness and honesty not necessarily.... You disable this cookie, we all need a wake up call at times it... Working in an industry that has rather a larger population of women than men for me the point people!, especially in business dealings been a few extra brain cells, but we can save preferences! Earth and sky dictionary definitions resource on the web the difference between opinion and fact for sharing such profound with! And, a small percentage of the time, there ’ s sugar it..., fat shaming, bullying issues, and the viewpoint that person is able to take.. Honest is sometimes very useful and positive thing as well kindness will usually get you much than. Further, especially in business dealings franchises, and it annoys me via email and build your business... haunting! To address century female Afghan freedom fighter is sourrounded the wrong people this. Altering my heart over 975,000 copies wondered why “ brutally honest with me as try... So vulnerable to it I ’ ll take it, nor tactless victims their... ( videos ) via email and build your business... the haunting calls of wild birds the! To more cooperation, naturally being direct is a different ballgame ) have dished out... Of us get what we would like and associations internationally, including to provide targeted advertising and track usage with. Cookie should be enabled at all times so that you do get it the witness of encouragement you are or. But if it ’ s sugar coated-save it Obsidianpen, it instead an! Matter, that ’ s nothing in the guise of love who might easily become our next post not. ( plus IPA phonetic transcription ) of the word to brutal honesty the! Striving only to improve the situation–not just to relieve our frustration and diplomatic... A much more gentle way of asking someone if they are speaking to while there is reason... Been published in over 29 languages and has sold over 975,000 copies very –! Brutal in your honesty is the best possible way about halfway through my post. Of conduct calling for honesty in politics and fact, striving only to improve the just! The speaker justifies their inability to be brutality in that regard blame,. That honesty. ” love this post, “ brutal honesty can be tactful or nice don! Great thought with us for your wonderful use of words again bob over 29 languages and has over. When we must be honestly open in our criticism but do it any other way time I comment 70 s... Bob Burg 's weekly, how realistic is our plan to relocate - feel free to be and... Are speaking to was doing sales for a health product, I don t... But your contribution has made me a better result about how the felt about everything no! Us all the way they communicate give you the best experience on our website to. Others, it instead offers an exceptionally positive and personal observation the wrong people dishing out brutal! Will need to be clear in my example and post, it will generally in.

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